online dating

I am still going out with that girl named Paulina tomorrow night but tonight I am not doing anything special. Some of my friends are going to be sitting around smoking weed, drinking, and playing video games and I will probably go join them and do that. The thing is that I have been talking to this new girl who messaged me last night. Her name is Candice and she is only 21. I am like omg there is a hot blond 21 year old girl who is messaging me and blowing me kisses and shit. I told her we should talk on MSN and she was like yeah sure and we have been talking all last night and now all today as well. I barely got any work done today at work because I was chatting with her so much. I hope my boss doesn't monitor our internet usage and see all the stuff I was typing to her because that would be very embarrassing. My boss kept asking me why I was spending so much time in my office and so little time on the sales floor today and I told him I was following up on the web marketing I had been doing and the email inquiries that I had got through our company website.

The company I work for has a website and they get inquiries about new and used vehicles all the time and then they get divvied up between all the salesman. I am not sure if he bought it or not but I know I can't do the same thing tomorrow otherwise I will definitely get fired.

I had a really good month in January for sales. That is because I am really good. I figured I could take a day or two and chill and talk to some girlies online sheesh. My co-workers are always finding some excuse as to why they aren't selling as many units as they would like to. They blame the economy, they blame the customer, they blame the holidays. They should blame themselves and take responsibility for themselves but ahhh now I am going down a futile path of frustration. Forget it about.

It certainly has been an interesting week. Here we are on Friday and my mood has totally changed. It is amazing how emotional we are as creatures. Last week I was feeling all confused and unsure of myself and what I wanted etc but now after talking to a few different girls online and on the phone I feel totally different. I feel like I have some drive and determination. I have been speaking with so many different girls and when I say different I mean very different. I am talking to girls of all age brackets and ethnicities. It has been a refreshing experience to see how different each girl is. Some are passive, some are aggressive. Some are smart and some are not so much. Lol I don't want to say dumb because I am trying to politically correct here but yeah a couple of them are dumb. Of course the two dumbest ones are also two of the hottest girls. Go figure.

Talking to all these girls has helped my confidence tremendously because they are all so different yet they all have on thing in common... they are attracted to me. The reason I say this is because I have plenty of pics in my online profile at the dating site I am a member of and there would be no point in a girl having communication with me if she wasn't physically attracted to my photos I have on there for them to see. Knowing that all these girls are attracted me means a lot to me and the way that I interpret this is that I am going to be able to date a few of them and ultimately have relations with some of them, I mean it is inevitable at the rate I am going at. I just need to continue to constant pressure and communication with each one while at the same time continue to fill my hopper with new prospects. Lol this sounds like a sales training seminar but I guess it is all the same in the end. trying to convince someone of something.

I am working on going on a date with a few of these girls this weekend. It really depends on who replies first and who I setup a date with first. I am not being discriminatory at all towards any of the girls because I have recently learned that you can't judge a book by it's cover and that I have to actually meet each of these girls in public to determine whether or not we may be compatible, also to determine if there is any sexual chemistry there. I also want to listen to the sound of their voice in person and also be able to judge their body language and attitude. I should have something else to report about after the weekend is over.

OK so I have scrapped the idea of getting girls to fall in love with me and then break their hearts. I think I am finally over my ex now and I think maybe she did me a favour. I don't know how to explain it but for some reason I fell relieved that she cheated on me and left me. I know I wasn't totally happy with her or better yet I wasn't making her happy and I was feeling the effects of those actions and as a result I was feeling crappy if that makes any sense?

So with this new perspective I realized that I have too big of a heart and too heavy of a conscience to be going around breaking young girl's hearts to quote the king of pop. I am now kind of confused and I feel like my whole world has been turned upside down. I don't know if I want just a girlfriend or if I want just casual sexual flings. I dunno. All I know is I want something and I am not going to stop until I get it, whatever it is. Ok, this is not making a lot of sense but love never does make sense does it? There I go throwing around the world love. I am not sure I have ever truly been in love before. I know I have experienced lust before and codependency but neither of those constitute much of love do they?

What I am doing now is really just going through the online dating site and messaging whatever girl I feel like it. I think that I have been judging a book by its cover so to speak. I think that I am trying too hard to pick the right kind of girl. The truth is that I really don't know what kind of girl is going to make me happy. I don't think you can look on paper and say this is the girl for me. I think that maybe the kind of girl I will best gel with may be nothing I would have ever thought would be my type. I think it comes down to random things that put together can make for happiness. I think this has been part of my problem my whole life. I have always forced things that I think are right. I have not let things happen naturally. I think the big part of the problem here is that I have figured out that I am not "right" very often.

I see myself as an intellect but at the same time I make very bad decisions and I do stupid things. How can someone who is so smart, make such dumb choices? It makes me wonder if I am bright at all? Maybe I give myself too much credit. Maybe I am not as smart as I think. Maybe I am just as average as everyone else that I constantly put down. I think I need to start seeing a shrink. Maybe I can find an attractive shrink just like Tony did in the Sopranos. I wish they would bring that show back. I think it was an awesome series and I really like James Gandalfini. I am getting off on a weird tangent here so I am gonna go for now. I have more girls I need to message. I will let you know all how it goes soon. I promise.

Hi everyone and sorry it has been already 8 days since my last post. I am trying to reduce the time I spend between posts for you guys. I am still working on my first fake long term relationship with that girl Cynthia and I have also met two other girls who I am now faking being in love with. As far as Cynthia goes, I have still not agreed to meet her. I keep telling her that I am too nervous and that we have such a special unique thing going on right now. I AM going to meet her, but I want to keep putting it off so that she wants me even more once we finally do meet. I will let you guys know when I actually decide to go meet her. Let me tell you about the other 2 girls on the hook.

The first girl is named Heather and she is 27 and she works in a flower shop. She is a really nice girl and a bit of a nerd but she is cute. She has these cute black rimmed glasses and is very shy. She doesn't look like she has had much experience with life in general, let alone with devious men like myself muhahahaha. She said she has been in a couple of relationships before but none of them were very serious, that she is still looking for mr. right. She thinks that I might be Mr. Right but she couldn't be more wrong. I am going to simply make her believe that I love her so that I can have that good girlfriend sex and also so that she will pamper me I think she is from Eastern Europe somewhere, that reminds me I need to ask her where exactly. She said she doesn't have a lot of friends and has a condo on the garden level and said she has lots of flowers and stuff in her garden and likes to sit out there and read books and drink coffee. She said she doesn't drink alcohol at all and doesn't smoke cigarettes or pot. I think this is good, cuz I want a nice earnest goody two shoes type girl that I can train in the bedroom and then dump once I am bored of her, the same way I was dumped by my ex.

The second girl I met online is named Julia and she is only 21 and still going to university. She thinks she has found some understanding mature older guy. She tells me that she thinks all the guys her age are too immature and don't understand her. She thinks that she is an old soul. She thinks that when she speaks she is saying some profound deep shit when in reality she is just annoying and talks too much. I am not sure how long I can tolerate being around this girl. Hopefully she puts out early so I don't have to waste too much time, effort, and money getting into her pants.

I am taking things slow with each girl so that they all fall in love with me slowly. I know that if I rush things I will not get the desired effect. My new goal is to have six full on girlfriends so I can have the girlfriend experience six times over.

That's right, it is on.

I have changed my online profile to say that I am them super-sensitive guy who is looking for a long term relationship. I think that being with a girl who is obsessed with me and thinks that I am in love with them would do anything I wanted and I could satisfy myself. I am tired of being screwed over and it is time for me to get revenge. Now I'm sure most of you are sitting there saying, yeah right Chad, you can't fake love. Others must be saying there is no way you could be that cold hearted... you won't be able to break it off once you are tired with her sexually. Only time will tell but I am convinced that men and women were not designed to live together, get married and all that shit. How many happy couples do you know that have been together longer than 6 years vs the amount of people that you know who tried it, failed, and are much happier now being alone. Ok I just sat back down after waling around for 5 minutes so I guess the rant is done... on to the good juicy stuff.

Her name is Cynthia and she is the sweetest thing you have ever seen. She seems really inexperienced at life and probably in bed as well. She has cherry red lips and I feel like I am watching a Duran Duran video when I look at this fine creature. She is 23 years old but she is not a mature 23, she is a naive cute petite flower of a woman. Calling her a woman would be pushing it. She has already said that she thinks I am cute and we have exchanged poems. I am going to be calling her tonight and talking to her on the phone. Wait until she hears my soft silky voice. It is going to make her pussy melt. Speaking of melts, I made a kickass tuna melt quasedillia the other day. Bombsauce. Ignorance is bliss, and innocence is a turn on to a lot of men. I still don't even know what gets me off. I have been so poisoned by the she devil that I call my exgirlfriend. I often wonder what she is doing. Sometimes I dwell on it while I am at work and I zone off and think of the world in some kind of twisted anime sense like Berserk. Makes me just want to fly away and sail over top of the city. Sucks that I don't have superpowers. The only power I have is over mere mortals like Cynthia. Humans are a funny breed. The more you expose them to the more they grow. Knowledge is power.

Cars are like women... I wish I had a snappy anecdote to add to this line but I don't. Anyways selling cars is easier than meeting girls and being in a relationship. I guess I sound kind of jaded but really I'm not. I'm just a bottom line guy and after being dumped it has changed me a bit and has made me more cold. I find myself being suspect of anything and everything around me now and the bad part is that half the time I AM getting screwed over in whatever small or large degree. I am started to assume the worst about people and I don't think this is a very healthy way to be living but I can't control it. Maybe I need to read some books about positivity, or maybe I just need to use this new found reference point to make lots of money, bang lots of chicks, and conquer the world! The jury is still out as to which way I will go.

Being dumped has affected me at work also. I have much less patience now for car buyers and I look at them all as idiots and I just want them to give me their money stfu and gtfo. Bah humbug. I also have a negative jaded view of women and I am very skeptical of women and don't have much faith in them to be well... faithful. I was always faithful to my ex girlfriend and now that I was cheated on, I think "fuck it" I can cheat too, in fact why be in a relationship at all? Why don't I just bang lots of chicks and stay single and life the life of reily? I couldn't think of a good reason not to, so that is my goal.

Since I have joined the online dating site I have met a wide variety of women. Some of them shy some of them forward and some of them just downright sluts who need to get nailed hard. I bet some of them are in relationships right now even. What I am trying to do is to just find the sluts who I can go over and bang and then chill out with maybe get a massage and leave. The girls who want long term relationships I am just going to lie to them and pretend I am in love with them so I can have sex with them. Yes I am evil. Being cheated on has forever tainted my heart black.

In fact I am going to go out of my way to make girls fall in love with me so I can bang them and then write about them here for you guys.