Denver Dating Blog

I am still going out with that girl named Paulina tomorrow night but tonight I am not doing anything special. Some of my friends are going to be sitting around smoking weed, drinking, and playing video games and I will probably go join them and do that. The thing is that I have been talking to this new girl who messaged me last night. Her name is Candice and she is only 21. I am like omg there is a hot blond 21 year old girl who is messaging me and blowing me kisses and shit. I told her we should talk on MSN and she was like yeah sure and we have been talking all last night and now all today as well. I barely got any work done today at work because I was chatting with her so much. I hope my boss doesn't monitor our internet usage and see all the stuff I was typing to her because that would be very embarrassing. My boss kept asking me why I was spending so much time in my office and so little time on the sales floor today and I told him I was following up on the web marketing I had been doing and the email inquiries that I had got through our company website.

The company I work for has a website and they get inquiries about new and used vehicles all the time and then they get divvied up between all the salesman. I am not sure if he bought it or not but I know I can't do the same thing tomorrow otherwise I will definitely get fired.

I had a really good month in January for sales. That is because I am really good. I figured I could take a day or two and chill and talk to some girlies online sheesh. My co-workers are always finding some excuse as to why they aren't selling as many units as they would like to. They blame the economy, they blame the customer, they blame the holidays. They should blame themselves and take responsibility for themselves but ahhh now I am going down a futile path of frustration. Forget it about.

I went on a date on Saturday with one of the girls I was talking to. She is 25 years old, her name is Paulina and she is from Poland. She only moved to Denver from Poland 3 years ago but she speaks pretty good English. Yes there is definitely a cultural difference and sometimes she doesn't totally understand me but I feel we communicate well and she seems to have quite a bit in common with me. One of the thing that surprised me is that she likes the same kind of music as me which is mainly rock from the 90's like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Soundgarden. She is going to school her on some kind of scholarship program for foreign students. She said she didn't have a chance to go to University in Poland because she didn't have the money so she had to work in a factory and constantly apply for scholarships. She is very bright and was able to finally win one and she has been going to school here in Denver for 3 years now and is almost finished her MBA. I am not sure what she intends to do with her MBA once she has graduated but whatever she should do well in life which is cool.

I met her at a coffee shop instead of taking her out for dinner because I thought we were gonna have a huge language barrier going on and I didn't want to be in a stuffy environment like a restaurant if that happened. Of course it turned out otherwise and we had a great time chatting over coffee about our very different lives. She told me that all of her family is still in Poland and that they all work at the same factory that she worked at. It didn't sound like they were completely miserable, in fact she said they are a very humble family and even though they don't have much, the family was always happy and very loving etc having big dinners together with relatives etc on a constant basis. She said she had a boyfriend back in Poland but left him when she moved here. She said she had met a few guys here that she was going to school with but because she was older than everyone else she kept meeting younger guys and nothing ever worked out for her. At the end of the date we shared a nice kiss in the parking lot and we have been chatting online ever since. I am going to be taking her out for dinner this weekend.

It certainly has been an interesting week. Here we are on Friday and my mood has totally changed. It is amazing how emotional we are as creatures. Last week I was feeling all confused and unsure of myself and what I wanted etc but now after talking to a few different girls online and on the phone I feel totally different. I feel like I have some drive and determination. I have been speaking with so many different girls and when I say different I mean very different. I am talking to girls of all age brackets and ethnicities. It has been a refreshing experience to see how different each girl is. Some are passive, some are aggressive. Some are smart and some are not so much. Lol I don't want to say dumb because I am trying to politically correct here but yeah a couple of them are dumb. Of course the two dumbest ones are also two of the hottest girls. Go figure.

Talking to all these girls has helped my confidence tremendously because they are all so different yet they all have on thing in common... they are attracted to me. The reason I say this is because I have plenty of pics in my online profile at the dating site I am a member of and there would be no point in a girl having communication with me if she wasn't physically attracted to my photos I have on there for them to see. Knowing that all these girls are attracted me means a lot to me and the way that I interpret this is that I am going to be able to date a few of them and ultimately have relations with some of them, I mean it is inevitable at the rate I am going at. I just need to continue to constant pressure and communication with each one while at the same time continue to fill my hopper with new prospects. Lol this sounds like a sales training seminar but I guess it is all the same in the end. trying to convince someone of something.

I am working on going on a date with a few of these girls this weekend. It really depends on who replies first and who I setup a date with first. I am not being discriminatory at all towards any of the girls because I have recently learned that you can't judge a book by it's cover and that I have to actually meet each of these girls in public to determine whether or not we may be compatible, also to determine if there is any sexual chemistry there. I also want to listen to the sound of their voice in person and also be able to judge their body language and attitude. I should have something else to report about after the weekend is over.

OK so I have scrapped the idea of getting girls to fall in love with me and then break their hearts. I think I am finally over my ex now and I think maybe she did me a favour. I don't know how to explain it but for some reason I fell relieved that she cheated on me and left me. I know I wasn't totally happy with her or better yet I wasn't making her happy and I was feeling the effects of those actions and as a result I was feeling crappy if that makes any sense?

So with this new perspective I realized that I have too big of a heart and too heavy of a conscience to be going around breaking young girl's hearts to quote the king of pop. I am now kind of confused and I feel like my whole world has been turned upside down. I don't know if I want just a girlfriend or if I want just casual sexual flings. I dunno. All I know is I want something and I am not going to stop until I get it, whatever it is. Ok, this is not making a lot of sense but love never does make sense does it? There I go throwing around the world love. I am not sure I have ever truly been in love before. I know I have experienced lust before and codependency but neither of those constitute much of love do they?

What I am doing now is really just going through the online dating site and messaging whatever girl I feel like it. I think that I have been judging a book by its cover so to speak. I think that I am trying too hard to pick the right kind of girl. The truth is that I really don't know what kind of girl is going to make me happy. I don't think you can look on paper and say this is the girl for me. I think that maybe the kind of girl I will best gel with may be nothing I would have ever thought would be my type. I think it comes down to random things that put together can make for happiness. I think this has been part of my problem my whole life. I have always forced things that I think are right. I have not let things happen naturally. I think the big part of the problem here is that I have figured out that I am not "right" very often.

I see myself as an intellect but at the same time I make very bad decisions and I do stupid things. How can someone who is so smart, make such dumb choices? It makes me wonder if I am bright at all? Maybe I give myself too much credit. Maybe I am not as smart as I think. Maybe I am just as average as everyone else that I constantly put down. I think I need to start seeing a shrink. Maybe I can find an attractive shrink just like Tony did in the Sopranos. I wish they would bring that show back. I think it was an awesome series and I really like James Gandalfini. I am getting off on a weird tangent here so I am gonna go for now. I have more girls I need to message. I will let you know all how it goes soon. I promise.